Why I Should Be 500 lbs... (or, Chubby Girls Can Find Boyfriends Too)

I thought about writing another dating post, but then I realized that it was time to write about something I really enjoy: food.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I really like food.

I will eat anything, anywhere, at any time.

In fact, I like food so much that I just bought a Kate Spade donut sweatshirt (but it's pretty freakin' adorable, so that too).

But, it's funny, even though I sometimes (all the time) complain about my body, I refuse to diet.  I'm not sure why, but maybe the thought of taking something away that I enjoy is, like, the worst idea ever.  Even though I can't eat as much as I used to (because my body will burst into millions of tiny pieces), I still require a meal that has, at least, two courses and, let me just say, a salad will never satisfy me the way a burger can.

I like to think this borderline obsession with food has become a quirk of mine.  Sitting at a Ukrainian restaurant with my new Polish friend, he commented how cute it was that I loved food so much.  Of course, this was after I mentioned that I would eat an entire pie if given the chance.  Are girls really that afraid to talk about food these days in a gluttonous manner?  And, in a culture filled with weight anxiety, has this actually become a treat to the ears?

And I'm not talking about food fetishes (I like food, but not thaaaaat much).  In a strange way, food, for me, is a real bonding experience.  It's the one subject I can openly talk about and only sound halfway ridiculous while doing it.  You can share it, make it together, eat it together, etc...  I just really enjoy the social aspect of it (unless I lock myself in my room and eat Chinese all by myself while watching "Say Anything").  And everyone understands it, unlike when I go off on fashion things. 

I'm also not a food snob.  I'll eat anything from a gourmet meal to street meat, no fucks given.  But I also have issues savouring things that are supposed to be savoured.  I eat quickly, mostly because I'm super hungry and/or excited.  I label this as an "issue" because, at a dinner party, who are you supposed to talk to when you've finished and everyone else is still eating?  You realize not just that you're more than a fast eater, you are also unskilled at understanding people with food stuffed in their mouths.  Subtitles extra.

I don't think a good meal is a waste of money (even if it does end up in the porcelain palace a couple of hours later).  In fact, there is nothing better than a good meal, in my opinion (besides shoes and maaaaaybe sex).  If done right, a good meal can leave you in a wonderful, euphoric state (granted, this depends on what sort of pants you wear).  A good meal is something you talk about for years to come, to anyone who will listen.

I've started playing a game with people, asking what they would order for their last meal before they're executed and, it's funny, so many people, including myself, go back to a homemade dish.  Food creates nostalgia, it has the power to bring people together and, in some cases, it even comforts.

While this might not be "the food for thought" you were looking for, I can tell you this...

I love food and I ain't giving no fucks if you try to tell me otherwise.